an unsuccessful attempt to get a new taste treat

I love Pop Tarts. It's one of the few kinds of junk food that I like. The others are:

• Anything with lots of sugar
• Anything with lots of fat
• Anything with lots of salt

Seriously, though, I just love Pop Tarts. Frosted Pop Tarts. Especially frosted brown sugar cinnamon. And frosted strawberry. And frosted strawberry. Before I get to the point of this point of this post, let me share a few Pop Tart-related experiences and thoughts.

Years ago, when I was writing letters to celebrities, politicians and captains of industry (under the name "Joey Thumpe"), I once wrote to Kellogg's about some of their Pop Tart packaging. A box suggested trying all the Pop Tart flavors, and listed about six, split into two categories (fruity -- e.g., strawberry, and junky -- e.g., brown sugar cinnamon). I wrote to ask why they left out my favorite flavors, and listed three savory flavors. I think they were broccoli and cheddar, liver & onions and pepperoni pizza. I was sure that I would get back some kind of letter explaining that such flavors don't exist and I must be confusing their product with something else. Instead I got back a very nice letter thanking me for my interest. They didn't even send me a coupon. Bastards.

Have you ever put butter on a Pop Tart? It's so freakin' good!

 

Some time ago I thought of making ice cream sandwiches using Pop Tarts as the outside. Vanilla ice cream between two frosted brown sugar cinnamon Pop Tarts. Strawberry ice cream between two frosted strawberry Pop Tarts. I posted about it on Facebook, though I never actually tried making and eating such a concoction.

Anyway, the point of this post? Now Kellogg's has released Pop Tarts in two new soda flavors: A&W root beer and Orange Crush. I'd say they've finally given up the last vestiges of pretense that Pop Tarts are a breakfast food. But, seriously, with flavors like Chocolate Fudge and S'mores, I think that ship sailed a while ago. Anyway, I want to try these new flavors. And today we went out in search. And, a dozen supermarket stops later, I couldn't find them. We stopped at Fairway. We even dropped more than a hundred bucks on produce, milk and the like for Sharon. But no A&W root beer Pop Tarts or Orange Crush Pop Tarts. We stopped at C-Town, Because of Food* and a whole bunch of other supermarkets whose names I can't remember. Blair looked it up online, and it looks like I can either pay an exorbitantly large sum of money to have them delivered to my home. Or I can wait until the mania dies down and then buy it at a normal price.

Or I can write about it on my blog, then tweet a plea to Kellogg's and hope they send me a free box.