i'm protected

In an unexpected turn of events, orders of protection have been issued to keep two people (whom I have never met) away from me.

The surprise came with the mail -- four (or was it five?) envelopes from the Queens County District Attorney. Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm kind of a nervous person. So I see these envelopes and start panicking. What are these? What can it mean? Am I being accused of something?

Opening an envelope, it took me a moment to figure out what it was. In the middle of the cover letter, in bold print, I saw "INSTRUCTIONS ON READING THE ORDER OF PROTECTION." Did I mention that I'm a nervous person?

When I saw that, I immediately started trying to figure out what the hell I did that someone got an order of protection against me. Finally, when I calmed down enough to read it, I was listed as the "Protectant" and someone else was listed as  "Defendant."

Phew! That's a load off my mind. But wait! Why is there this order of protection? What happened that this person wants to kill me? Oh my God! I'm gonna get murdered!*

Part of what had me so confused is that I simply don't have any experience with orders of protection. I didn't know they can be issued without you even asking for them. Once I calmed down enough to view it rationally. I remembered the water theft that happened last week. I wrote about it here. The police had told me I might hear from the District Attorney. I knew that there may be criminal charges -- if it's determined that the items these people stole (from other porches as well as mine) are collectively worth enough to make it worth pursuing.

I can only assume that these orders of protection are related to that theft. That it's a matter of course** and all the identified victims are also protectants. Maybe it's prophylactic. Maybe it's a way of potentially upping the charges (assuming the thieves return to any of the same homes to steal again).

The one thing that's truly odd is that the document orders the defendant to (among other things):

Refrain from assault, stalking, harassment, aggravated harassment, menacing, reckless endangerment, disorderly conduct, criminal mischief, sexual abuse, sexual misconduct, forcible touching, intimidation, threats or any criminal offense or interference with...members of the family or household of...Marc Whinston.

Seems to me these actions are already illegal. Maybe it's, again, about upping the possible charges in case they come back.

The cover letter lists a phone number for a Crime Victims Advocate Program, but I didn't see the mail until too late in the day to call. I'll try in the morning. As for tonight, I'll keep a baseball bat by the bed.

*Yeah...still nervous

**I hope so, anyway. What if it's not and my family is truly in danger? Did I mention that I'm a nervous type?

they stole my water!

Late last night Ethan and I got out of Keith's film class and went to the car. I had a series of texts from Blair. To paraphrase:
Call the police
Officer <name> at the 107th Precinct at <number>
He has our Fiji water
It was stolen


It took me a second to figure out what this meant. It was something I knew would happen sooner or later -- a package was stolen from our porch. It seems like a national epidemic -- at least judging by the plethora of Youtube videos on the subject. I'm sharing one below.

It has been discussed at meetings of the Jamaica Estates Association, since it has seemed to happen a lot in this neighborhood, and many are furious. Of course, there's not a whole lot the police can do to stop it from happening. They simply can't be everywhere at once, and I assume these are low priority since they're nonviolent.

It seems to me that the increase in package theft is due in large part to the increasing prevalence of online purchasing. It's simply a matter of a newly-emergent opportunity being exploited. One person I know disagrees. She has heard from the police that it has to do with Mayor DeBlasio being soft on crime. Theory of Broken Windows and all that.

Maybe. But then why is it not just a New York thing? Maybe it's a combination of factors, as such things so often are.

At any rate, I have to give my thanks to the police at the 107th precinct. They caught the water thief (with over a dozen packages addressed to a variety of homes) and called our house. When I called, and when I got there to pick up my water, they were very courteous and professional. They told me a little of what had gone on, and asked for my estimate of the value. Apparently, if the total value of the stolen items is above some threshold then it becomes a felony. Anyway, I appreciated them and their demeanor.

Now I'm gonna have some water.