I've made no secret about being on a diet. Since October 4. It's not fun, but it's not as bad as I was anticipating. Sadly, moderation isn't part of it. I've found that, when it comes to sweets, it's easier to have none than to have a little. So -- for example -- after Halloween when the kids had lots of candy, I didn't have any. I knew that I wouldn't be able to stop at just a taste. Even now, as I sit at my desk typing away, Blair has a bowl of M&Ms on her desk just a short reach away. I know that if I take any I'll take them all. But that's a spoiler. So don't read it.
So, as Thanksgiving came, I was trying to figure out how to handle the feast. Eventually, I decided to allow myself the one day break from dieting. Now, the fundamentals of this diet are that I am having no sweets, and severely limited carbs. So I found myself enjoying the bread stuffing, the mashed potatoes, the matzoh balls. And a large piece of pumpkin pie. It was a glorious meal. And I woke up the next morning with that bloated feeling I hadn't felt in a month and a half.
My diet daypass was over, but I was thinking about how I could extend it. There's leftover mashed potatoes, stuffing and pumpkin pie. Surely it won't be the end of the world if I extend it a little farther until the leftovers are done. I was drooling at the thought. And no harm in a little extension to have some ice cream. And a twinkie or twelve... I think that was the thought that brought me back to reality. I was on a slippery slope. If I continue on it, there would be no picking myself up and dusting myself off. In the end, I didn't have a
ny leftover stuffing (gone Friday morning 'cause Ethan was hungry), mashed potatoes (still in the fridge 'cause I put too much salt in it) or pumpkin pie (still a piece in the fridge teasing me).
Of course, one good thing that came out of this is that I proved to myself that I can have the controlled exception and still get right back on the wagon afterwards. And, accordingly, I'm looking ahead to my next controlled fall. I have a wedding to go to on Christmas Eve. That'll be an exception. And, of course, if I'm having dinner at someone's house, it would be ungracious to make a fuss about how I can't eat this or I can't eat that. If I come over and you're serving spaghetti and meatballs, then I'm eating spaghetti and meatballs.
Now, all I need to do is have a dinner invite or a wedding to go to every night, and I'm good...
Earlier this year we were at an AT&T store to buy a new phone. The salesman talked us into one of their tablet deals -- you get a tablet for free (or near free) if you agree to keep their service on it for some fixed period. They often offer these deals -- presumably a way to convert last year's model into customers. This tablet was to be for Asher.
But this time it was a mistake. The tablet was to be for Asher. From the beginning it didn't work right. Asher, being a kid, didn;t tell us that it wasn't working right. He just used other devices for his entertainment, and let this tablet languish. By the time we noticed, it was too late. We were out of the free look period (or whatever they call it). And the good folks at AT&T are of no help.
"It's a problem with Google," we were told over and over, "call them." And we called Google, but they insist -- credibly -- that it's the tablet. The people at the AT&T store keep saying they're "trying to help," but do little more than look at the tablet, watch us try to log on, and either declare it a Google problem or tell us that it's now an expensive paperweight. Somehow restoring factory settings is out of the question. When we asked for help with that, we were told that "I am not your personal assistant."
As a family, we have been AT&T customers for a long time -- since Cingular merged with (or was absorbed by) AT&T. And we were with Cingular for a while before that. While I haven't been without complaint for the entire time, I've been largely satisfied with them. But this is different.
At some point we have gotten sick of hearing the reps tell us they're "trying to help" in polite tones. Those tones mean nothing. The fact is, AT&T sold us a lemon, for which we are still paying, and won't actually help us out.
This evening we made our way into a T-Mobile store. The first step in changing carriers is researching what's out there.
I've seen a lot of the criticism of The Emoji Movie. When it came out in July it was unanimously condemned. I recall one critic calling it the worst movie of the year. Seriously, a movie based on emojis? Seems like they're scraping the bottom.
But, to celebrate Thanksgiving, I watched it with Sharon and Asher.
I am surprised to report that it's not the steaming pile of crap that I was expecting.
That's not to say it's a good movie. It sucks. Just not as bad as I thought it would. It's on par with Inside Out and Bee Movie.
On the upside, there are a bunch of cute one-liners. For example, at one point the "poop" emojis march together chanting "We're number two!" Early on, we see that the Christmas Tree emoji is named Tim. So I found myself frequently chuckling at some little clever bit that really wasn't related to the story.
Which brings me to the other positive thing to note. There's a plot. It's not a great plot, but it is definitely a plot. And that, I have to say, is a remarkable achievement. I mean, this is a movie about emojis, and they had to come up with a coherent story. Semi-coherent anyway. I can't imagine the faces of the writers when they were told they had to come up with a script for an emoji movie. That's the Kobayashi Maru of screenwriting.
Considering the situation they were thrust into, they performed admirably.
I still don't know why I decided to watch every episode of Space: 1999. But when I decided to do so, I also decided that I should turn the endeavor into a public service and write about each episode. That way no one else will ever have to watch them. A few notes are in order:
I decided to write about each episode before going on to the next. That means that each writeup is done with due consideration for the context set by the earlier episodes, but without a mind toward any greater context that requires knowledge of later episodes
It appears that episodes were produced and aired in different orders. As a result, there are differences between various online lists -- some are in order or production and some are in order of air-date. I am trying to do this in order of initial airdate. But I can't swear that I'm getting everything right.
There are spoilers.
I am not the first to go through S99, episode by episode. And, of course, not everyone shares my opinions. Here's what someone else has to say.
I have some summary comments at the end.
Season 1 opening credits
Is that Prince Charming on the right?
1) S01 E01: Breakaway
This is where it started. And the start was mixed. The opening segment presented some good exposition. Commander John Koenig is being installed as Commanding Officer of Moonbase Alpha. There's a nearby planet (?!?!?!?!), Meta, that probably supports life. And Koenig has to send a mission there. Or explore it. Or something. Nuclear waste is being stored on the moon. All is going well until one of the men working in the nuclear storage area goes berserk. After a brief struggle he gets thrown to the ground. His helmet cracks, letting air out. And we can see that his eyes are oddly gray. Cue the credits.
That should have been a good introduction. But it wasn't. Everyone is so damn calm. It's like they're all on Xanax. And that's especially true of Dr. Helena Russell, played by Barbara Bain. She speaks in hushed tones that betray no emotion. I have always thought of S99 as a British attempt at a Star Trek type show. So contrast Bain's Dr. Russell with Deforest Kelly's Dr. McCoy. It's like, here they tried to have Spock be the doctor. (Hah! Dr. Spock! I slay me!). But Spock, despite being the stoic, showed signs of humanity. Russell is a talking mannequin.
After the opening credits (which, frankly, are the highlight of the show) we get into the story. They want to have this mission to Meta, but people keep getting sick. It has something to do with a magnetic field in the nuclear waste disposal sight. Eventually, things come to a head -- the nuclear waste explodes, pushing the moon out of earth's orbit. Maybe they can make it back to earth. But the computer doesn't know for sure; a human decision is required. Koenig thinks a second, and makes his call. He thinks they wont make it back to earth. On Alpha, they have what they need to survive. So they should stay.
This was not a great pilot, but it wasn't terrible. There are things that could be tweaked. And some of the ideas are just stupid. I mean, seriously, a planet has gotten close enough for a manned mission? But there is promise. This can be a decent series.
Dr. Russell gave him the cold shoulder.
S01 E02: Force of Life
An alien life force invades a crewman's body. It has an insatiable need for heat. He freezes everyone he touches, and pulls energy from the lights. Eventually he makes his way to Alpha's nuclear reactor. But he can't get the door open. Koenig shoots him with one of those stupid laser staple guns. The heat from the laser blast strengthens him, so he can open the reactor and go in. Sated, the alien life force leaves Alpha in peace.
This episode seems to have elements of several episodes of Star Trek. There are elements of "Obsession," "The Man Trap," "Day of the Dove" and "The Lights of Zetar." But the storytelling is just off. The pacing is too slow, so it's boring. And it could use some more exposition. I realize that, in real life they would be left with lots of mysteries. But this is a TV show, and I was left wanting more of the mysteries answered.
But the biggest thing I noticed about this episode is that they killed off several crewmembers. That strikes me as a mistake. In Star Trek, they're on a spaceship. If someone dies they can return to HQ, or base, or wherever, and get replacements. In S99 they're on a hunk of rock hurtling uncontrolled through space. They can't replace their casualties. So I'd think the writers would be a little more cautious about creating those casualties.
If both survive the lirpa...Oh, wrong show.
S01 E03: Collision Course
The moon is on a collision course with a planet. The great minds have developed a plan to detonate several strategically placed nukes in order to divert them away. But Koenig won't let them set off the nukes because -- get this -- if they allow the moon to crash into the planet they'll somehow reach some elevated state of being.
The episode actually starts off strong. nukes are being placed on an asteroid that's on a collision course with the moon. But Alan Carter is having technical troubles placing his nuke. Koenig wants to give him more time, but they can't wait too long or the explosions will be too close to the moon, and kill everyone. There's tension and suspense. And it's exciting. Alan somehow manages to drop his load and head back. The nukes are detonated, and we're not sure whether Alan survived. Then, unfortunately, the episode gets underway.
This is by far the worst episode so far. As with the first two, the pacing is incredibly slow, and Helena Russel is still wooden. But that's not new. The new innovation is the sheer idiocy. The Alphans were able to see the small asteroid and set out to explode it. But somehow they missed the huge frickin' planet. That is until John and Paul go up in an eagle (that's what they call their shuttlecraft) to look for Alan. I guess George and Ringo didn't want to go. Only after they find him do they notice the planet that's like 100 bajillion times the size of the asteroid that they saw. And it's staring right at them. Of course, no one on Alpha saw it, and if John hadn't happened to notice it they wouldn't have seen it until it ran them over. I'd say "WTF" right about now, but it gets worse. John sets out to explore and see if they can relocate from the moon to the planet, but he is brought onboard a spaceship where he talks to Arra, the Queen of Atheria who gives him some kind of psychobabble about how he was fated for this meeting since the beginning of time. Or some crap like that. Anyway, he has to make sure his people don't set off the nukes, because that will thwart fate. But the best part is the end. Everyone is terrified as the moon is about to hit the planet. John screams in horror about how he believed Arra. Then, just as the moon hits the planet, the planet disappears. Now, we can say "WTF!"
Looking on the positive side, this episodes explores issues of loyalty, faith and leadership since John is effectively...oh, who the hell am I kidding. This episode is a steaming pile of crap. And even the epilogue sucks. Koenig, talking to Dr. Russell, waxes poetic. "How could anyone possibly know that a planet on a collision course would not collide -- would simply touch?" That's all we get in the way of real explanation for what happens. Oh, and while Koenig is saying that, Dr. Russell is doing her impression of a block of wood.
Looks like Beldar is lost
S01 E04: War Games
This is the episode where Dr. Russell finally displays some emotion. About a quarter of the way in, Koenig asks her for the bad news. After saying that there are 128 dead, she sighs a little. I think her psychiatrist would have called that a breakthrough. Later on, she screams, but it's such an affected scream that it hardly counts.
But all snark (and Bain's wooden demeanor) aside, this episode is a vast improvement over the first three. Alpha is attacked by aliens and finds itself at war and severely outgunned. It's exciting. It's suspenseful. It's great TV. At least the first half or so is.
But then, at about the midpoint, Koenig and Russell go to the planet that launched the attack. They hope to plead for mercy and come to an understanding. Maybe even be allowed to relocate to the planet. And as that happens, the show episode descends into the same kind of slow pacing and metaphysical mumbo jumbo that has been its ongoing weakness. Koenig gets killed, Russell gets the power to make her wishes reality, and they destroy the planet. Or something like that. Eventually they manage to get back to Alpha, but back in time to when the war began. Wiser for his experience, Koenig manages to avoid the war. After the conehead guy from the planet lectures them on fear, all is done. Oy.
One other thing. I was bothered by the fact that like four (or so) people die in episode 2. Here the deaths number on the hundreds. So, I guess Alpha has more people on it than the first three episodes led us to believe. But still, I don't think the writers should be killing people off all willy nilly like this.
We're just getting warmed up...
S01 E05: Death's Other Dominion
On an ice planet two men discuss (in language that sounds oddly like bad Shakespeare) the approach of the earth's moon. They're excited, as one of them had predicted this event eight hundred years ago. It seems that some scientists from the future earth had gone to this planet, and traveled back in time. Or something like that. Anyway, they've been enjoying immortality. Maybe "experiencing" would be the more appropriate word, since they're spending their immortality stuck on an ice planet. They make contact, and a party from Alpha visits, discussions are had, and the Alphans consider joining them. But immortality has its price, and the Alphans wind up staying on the moon.
There's a decent concept behind the plot -- the lure of immortality balanced by a price to pay for it. But I just don't get why the writers had to ruin it with the whole angle of the population of the planet being from earth. Maybe they thought it added human interest? Unfortunately, it simply made it stupid. Think of the odds that they'd run into a lost earth expedition. OK, given the vastness of space, it's unlikely they'll run into anyone before they all die of old age. I get that, to make the series interesting they have to have things happen. But they strain credulity when they add the extra coincidence that it was an earth expedition.
Dr. Russell screams -- for the second episode in a row. At least she's still emoting. And, while we're on the topic of emoting, there's one scene that perfectly exemplifies one of the biggest problems. There's some disagreement over whether to stay on the moon or move to the planet. Having everyone choose for himself or herself is not an option -- if half the crew stays on Alpha, they can't run it without the other half. So Koenig has to decide. But he refuses -- he insists that he can't make that kind of decision for everyone. Hello? He's the one who decided (in episode 1) that they shouldn't try to get back to earth. He's in charge, Making big decisions for the group is part of his job. At any rate, that's not what really annoyed me. What got to me comes after that. He says he can't make that decision for the whole group, so they'll have to vote. Majority rules. When he makes that declaration, the rest of the landing party kind of shrug and mumble among each other things like "I guess that makes sense" and "OK, sounds good." There's a casualness that makes no sense. It's the reaction you'd get if someone said we'd vote on whether to go for Thai food or Mexican.
One other thing bugs me. Why do they have gear for walking through a snowy environment. Remember that this is a base on the moon. It was not intended to be an exploratory vessel, and it doesn't make sense that they have equipment for exploring nonlunar environments.
Is it me, or do these alien ships look like wasps?
S01 E06: Voyager's Return
Finally, we get an episode that's not half bad. It's not great. We're talking about something on the order of a mediocre episode of Star Trek (TOS). Alpha encounters Voyager I, an unmanned probe sent from earth in 1995. The problem is that it's propelleded by a "Queller Drive," which spews out subatomic particles in such volume and at such speed that it destroys anything that gets near it. Koenig has to decide whether to destroy it (for Alpha's safety) or try to retrieve its databank which they figure must have loads of great scientific information gathered on its 15 years in space. It sounds like a conundrum until Koenig learns that one of the scientists on Alpha is actually Ernst Queller, who designed the Queller drive. He's been living under an assumed name because of the many deaths caused by his invention.
At the risk of belaboring the comparisons to Star Trek (TOS), there are obvious similarities to "The Conscience of the King," though here the villain is more sympathetic.
The story is compelling. There are several plot turns that keep it suspenseful. And this is the first time that I found myself really caring about a guest character. I wanted to know what would happen to him as well as to Alpha.
On the downside, there's the whole emotion thing again. the interpersonal reactions between the principles is cold and lifeless. At one point Dr. Russell, bothered by a decision that she thinks is a mistake, tells Koenig that he's sentencing them all to death. But her tone is cold an emotionless. I'd expect more emotion if she found out that we had voted for Thai food (and she wanted Mexican).
There is one thing I noticed here. Maybe it should have been obvious. Just as in Star Trek (TOS), the three principles are the commanding officer, the chief medial officer and the chief science officer. But in TOS, there is genuine warmth between those three, with a complex relationship. Here, when the three talk, it may as well be three computers sharing information. I don't think it was intended to be this cold. But it is.
Finally, in writing about episode 6, I noted that it strained credulity that they ran into scientists from earth. Being that the earth is a sphere, it seemed too coincidental that they went in the right direction to run into an old earth expedition. Well, now for the second episode in a row they ran into earth detritus. This time it didn't bother me. I guess good storytelling will cover for a multitude of sins.
The sword of Damocles is hangin' over my head.
S01 E07: Alpha Child
The community on Alpha has its first baby. Everyone is thrilled, but things turn weird when the child grows into a five-year-old in what seems like minutes. In an amazing feat of understatment, Dr. Russell informs Koenig that "this whole thing is totally beyond normal medical experience." Gee, ya think?
At any rate, the baby's growth is part of a plot by a colony of space fugitives to take over the Alphans' bodies and live in their place. That part kind of reminds me of the "Return to Tomorrow" episode of Star Trek (TOS). Of course, at this point, I should acknowledge that I may be overdoing it with the observations that this or that plot element is like that or this episode of ST-TOS. We're talking about two space-based science fiction shows, so it makes sense that there may be similar plot points. It takes more than that for there to be real offripping occuring. That said, I am not declaring a moratorium on noting similarities.
One thing that I've noticed, and that I am now trying to put into words is the fact that one of the chief weaknesses of the show has nothing to do with science fiction per se. The characters are bland and undeveloped. Further, there's really very little interaction between them, and almost no banter. So the interpersonal relationships are lacking. So even when there is a kernel of a good story, it's hard to really care about anyone. The pilots, Paul and Allan are getting more development. Especially Allan. So I find myself liking him more than anyone else. But they really have to have more dialogue. And I mean relationship dialogue -- not just bland "here's the situation" stuff.
Cthulu matata
S01 E08: Dragon's Domain
This is, by a wide margin, the best episode yet. One of the crew, Tony Cellini, is having nightmares, recalling a harrowing experience from several years ago. Cellini had been the only survivor of an expedition to the then-newly discovered planet Ultra. He told the story of a horrible octopus monster that hypnotizes people, pulls them into its maw and then spits out their charred remains. Now, years later and light years away, the monster that killed his crew (and nearly him too) is in the moon's path in intergalactic space.
This episode has a compelling story (with shades of ST-TOS' "Obsession") and its told well. The backstory is told through Dr. Russell's narration as she types up a report, and through flashbacks. It's the first time that S99 has used either technique, and I wouldn't recommend that the producers use them all the time. But as occasional tools they worked well. But what really makes this show is the octopus monster. Damn, that must have been frightening to a kid when it was originally on. Actually, what's really interesting is how this monster is terrifying and cheesy at the same time. We never actually see the entire octopus monster, as it stays behind a doorway. I assume this was done for budgetary reasons, but the fact is that it actually makes the thing scarier. This episode also marks the first time that Koenig and Dr. Russell have a real conversation where they really talk to and listen to each other. It's still a long distance between them and the easy rapport we see in Star Trek, but at least it's an improvement.
And the fact that the story is so compelling and the monster so captivating covers a whole lot of stuff that just doesn't make sense. First of all, we learn at the beginning that the moon has by now left the galaxy. How the hell did that happen so fast? I would say that we can accept some mumbled technobabble explanation about how the moon is going at nearly the speed of light. But then we'd have trouble reconciling that to the fact that, passing planets and whatnot, they're going slow enough to have extended contact. And the monster is in a spaceship graveyard. And the graveyard has moved from our solar system to the moon's path. That's another WTF element. But, of course, with these space shows we have to just kind of accept the pretense in order to enjoy. But seriously, if they're now in intergalactic space I'll be pissed off if they start passing more stars and planets.
Oh yeah, one more thing. They're still killing people off every episode. How long can they do that?
It's Carmen Miranda!
S01 E09: Mission of the Darians
Since two of the last three episodes were pretty good, I had elevated expectations. Maybe the show has hit its stride.
Sadly, this was not to be. In "Mission..." the moon comes upon a ginormous spaceship that has sent out a distress signal, They send a crew over to offer assistance. The crew gets separated into three groups that have three very different experiences. Koenig is urged to have his people relocate to the spaceship, but he isn't being told every detail about what that would entail.
The plot is very cliched, and there's really not a whole lot that's interesting. There's minimal interaction between the crewmembers of Alpha, so the problem of minimal character development remains. Oh, and they lose another crewmember.
Look! The moon has a Pop-O-Matic!
S01 E10:Black Sun
The basic premise behind this episode is kind of a no-brainer: the moon is headed for a black hole. But, damn if they didn't ruin it. Koenig and Victor rig up some kind of protective shield over Alpha in order to protect it from the damage the black hole will do. Yeah, that's plausible. But I guess Koenig knows it isn't plausible, since he also sends six crew members on one of those little shuttle things (by the way, I don't think I mentioned yet that they're called "eagles"), so that if Alpha does get destroyed, at least those six will survive for a few weeks and suffer an agonizing death of hunger. Or thirst. Or asphyxiation or cold.
Anyway, weird stuff happens, and they survive their trip into the black hole, emerging on the other side of the universe. And somehow the eagle (the "survival ship") is also with them, despite the fact that it didn't go into the black hole. Gee, that was lucky, I guess.
I can't even.
Well-a well-a well-a, Uh! tell me more, tell me more!
How much dough did he spend?
S01 E11: Guardian of Piri
Weird stuff is happening with Piri, a planet that the moon is approaching. Somehow, Piri's proximity is causing all computers to malfunction and people to act in a sort of near-catatonic euphoria. They all go to the planet to live out their lives in bliss. All except for Koenig who somehow has the will or determination to resist the siren song. Shades of "This Side of Paradise," an episode of (you guessed it) Star Trek (TOS). And, like so many episodes of ST-TOS there's some kind of representative of the computer that's running things. In this case that representative is played by a very attractive Catherine Schell. Koenig struggles against his people, who are convinced that he's standing in the way of their happiness. Which, when you think about it, he actually is. He destroys Schell, which destroys the computer, breaking the spell. Everyone rushes to the eagles and returns to the moon as all hell is breaking loose on Piri. The, when it seems like everything is over, we're presented with a twist ending worthy of The Twilight Zone.
This really isn't a bad story, but it's told in such a dull manner, that it's pretty unwatchable. Though I will admit that the planet scenery is pretty interesting. Lots of abstract polygons in orange, white and yellow. With strange white glass bulbs. I can't imagine how the cast avoided laughing on set. And Schell, though quite attractive, is reenacting the silliest of Star Trek TOS's costuming.
One other thing about this. I found it oddly offputing the way Kano keeps talking about "Computer" instead of "the computer," as if the Station's computer is a living, sentient being. And he sounds like he's in love with it. I think I noticed this in prior episodes, but I'm not sure.
Say it...Say Picard is better than Kirk...
S01 E12: End of Eternity
A crew from Alpha is blowing stuff up on an Asteroid. In doing so they accidentally free an imprisoned immortal sadist named Balor. God, I hate when that happens.
Guest star Peter Bowles saves this episode with his understated performance. Even when he's being calm and reasonable there's something menacing about him. It's a clever idea for an episode, and it's generally well-executed. Except for the fact that it's hard to overlook the continuing lack of chemistry among the characters. They don't interact much, or converse much. It's boring storytelling. Still and all, the climactic fight scene is done reasonably well, and the conclusion is satisfying. This is definitely among the better episodes. I admit that that's a low bar.
The chocolate river from Willie Wonka's factory.
S01 E13: Matter of Life and Death
A recon team is returning from checking out another planet. The computer has designated the planet "Terra Nova" (i.e., new earth), which is a good omen. The team is eagerly reporting back that it looks great. Birds and waterfalls. But then they get struck by what looks like lightning bolts. Guess it was too good to last. The recon team gets back. They're unconscious, but alive. Oh, and they've brought back an extra person -- Dr. Russell's husband, who has been presumed dead for years.
While watching this, I was assuming the husband would turn out to be some facsimile created from Helena's thoughts. Of course, that's the influence of having watched Star Trek. No such luck here. It's him alright, and the show never really adequately explains his presence. But the planet is slowly turning into antimatter (!!), and him along with it. Victor surmises that he has somehow adapted to do this to survive. Or some such stupidity. Suffice to say things all go to hell when the Alphans try to migrate to the planet. And Dr. Russel, through some weird thought power (encouraged by her husband) manages to make things right.
This is one of the more annoying episodes because of its sheer stupidity. There are elements that could have been put to use in support of a good plot, but this is just insulting to the viewer. I suppose I should give them credit for introducing us to Dr. Russell's dead husband; it gives her depth. Or it should, but it just doesn't. Maybe it's because she's still so wooden. Or maybe because, aside from stating that he's her husband, her actions never really make us think there's any connection between them. She's all flirty with Koenig while they're exploring the new world. It just doesn't add up.
Hippie freak
S01 E14: Earthbound
An unknown ship lands on the moon with an alien crew in stasis. Their ship is programmed to go to earth -- their planet blew up or some such -- but they ended up off course because they were supposed to go to the moon first and, well you know where the moon is (or at least where it isn't). The point of the episode is that they have room for one extra passenger (thanks to Koenig's team for accidentally killing one of the aliens). So, who's gonna go to earth with them?
There are a bunch of things to not like about this episode. Like so many others, it is paced way too slowly (at least at the beginning). Christopher Lee guests as the the alien Captain Zantor, but he's pretty much wasted. But what really strikes me is the way Commissioner Simmons (remember him from the first episode?) is all front and center here. He's in Koenig's high-level staff meeting, and he (being a diplomat) insists on being among the first to greet these aliens. I don't recall seeing him in such a prominent role before, In fact, other than the first episode, I don't recall seeing him at all.
Of course, there's a reason to bring him back and make him prominent. And, while we're at it, for making him such an manipulative, sneaky, unlikeable person. From the beginning, he makes it clear that he feels not enough has been done to figure out how to get back to earth. And, then, when there's an opportunity for one Alphan to go, well, of course he's determined to be the one.
But, while there are things to dislike, there's actually some decent stuff in the episode. While it starts slowly, the intrigue builds, and by the end it's pacing isn't so terrible. Also, I can finally see some real interpersonal interaction among the crew. Granted, it's mostly about how they don't like Simmons, but still. Finally -- and this is what saves the episode -- there's a Twilight Zone ending. In fact, after the initial TZ twist near the end, there's another one. Instantly, the end elevates it.
So, despite not wanting to like it, I couldn't help coming away thinking that this was pretty good.
I though I was auditioning for Clan of the Cave Bear
S01 E15: The Full Circle
Another "let's explore this planet and hope it suits our needs" episode. Last time the planet was turning into antimatter. This time the planet has a mysterious fog that turns the Alphans into cavemen. No, really.
It's a really stupid premise, and a lot of it is handled badly, but I found myself enjoying it despite myself. It's suspenseful and there's a good bit of action. Heck, at one point we're wondering whether Sandra is going to get burned alive by the cavemen. It's also nice to see her and Alan Carter get more action than in prior episodes. Even if most of her role involves cowering. And, in all fairness, it's not as if Star Trek never based an episode around a stupid premise.
But what's most interesting about this episode is the interpersonal stuff that's been so missing. We actually start to get to know the characters, as they have more in the way of real conversations than we've seen before. There seems to be some flirting between Koenig and Dr. Russell. And Paul and Alan both seem to be sweet on Sandra (who's enjoying the competition).
There are, of course, obvious plot holes, and if I really want to, I can pick this apart. But -- and I'll deny saying this -- I'm actually starting to warm up to this show.
It's just a jump to the left...
S01 E16: Another Time, Another Place
Some mysterious force (which is never really explained) causes the moon (and everything on it) to split into two, which are somehow displaced in time. I'd try to describe the plot in full but, frankly, it's too ridiculous to explain. Suffice to say it involves conflict because (for some stupid reason that's not fully explained) two versions of one person can't be together at once without one of them dying. Oh, and one of the Professors Bergman somehow knows that all will be set to right when the two moons collide. As long as the denizens of the "other" (from his perspective) Alpha are there.
The plot, like several others, is a half-baked mess. There are some interesting ideas for a story, but they weren't fully fleshed out, so we end up with a morass of unexplained gobbledygook. On the plus side, there's more development of interpersonal relationships. Allan Carter maried (or has the potential to marry Regina Kesslann (have we seen her before this episode?), And we get an idea about Paul and Sandra. Meanwhile, Dr. Russell and Commander Koenig are inching closer to a relationship. Of course, she's still wooden.
Shine on, you crazy diamond
S01 E17: The Infernal Machine
Among the better episodes of S99, this plays out like a mediocre episode of Star Trek. Alpha is approached by a spaceship that appears to be like nothing they've ever seen before. The ship, operated by one person turns out to be alive and intelligent in its own right. And full of itself. Anyway, the person in the ship is effectively a slave to it. Most Star Treklike is the fact that Koenig eventually outwits the computer mind.
But, while this episode has many elements that we have seen before in Trek, the fact is that the virtually nonexistent interpersonal relationships of S99 render this a boring retread. The only thing I'll give it is that more is being done to establish the growing relationship between Koenig and Dr. Russell.
Rounding the far turn, it's Koenig in the lead...
S01 E18: Ring Around the Moon
This time, some glowy orange ball that looks at times like a star and at others like an orange with a brain and an eye approaches the moon. Sending out mysterious rays, it takes over the mind of a crewman who hacks the computer and then dies. This is getting tedious, as all the episodes blend into each other.
There are some goofy effects as a whole bunch of the crew run across the lunar surface (in slow motion to simulate low gravity). The finale in which Koenig talks the aliens into destroying themselves reminds me of all those times that Captain Kirk convinced computers to self-destruct. Oh, and Dr. Russell is still made of wood.
Insert Kevin Spacey joke here.
S01 E19: Missing Link
After Commander Koenig crashes the eagle he was piloting, there seem to be two Koenigs. One is lying in bed near death, and one is wandering around a replica of Moonbase Alpha. Turns out he's a test subject for an anthropologist from the future, and he has to choose between his life on Alpha and a life (and love) with the anthropologist's daughter. This episode is an improvement over the last several because there are some stretches where I found myself seriously wondering WTF. Add to that, some seriously interesting camera work.
Sadly, about midway through the episode (and after I had gotten a handle on the basic premise, I found this degenerating into the usual yawnfest. The ending wasn't satisfying, and left a whole lot unexplained (which, truth be told, is one of the consistent weaknesses of the show).
There was more emotion injected into this episode than most have had. A simulated Professor Bergman goes into a conniption about being stuck on the moon, and Koenig recognizes the fakery. And late in the episode, some of the Alphans are at each other's throats, due to their anxiety over a near-dead Koenig. But none of the emoting is convincing. I don't know if it's the writing or the acting, but Barry Morse's outburst seemed forced. And the crew coming to blows after so many episodes where their emotional connection was minimal just didn't make sense. As usual, Dr. Russel showed virtually nothing.
It was never explained why the future anthropologist and his daughter have gold skin. I suppose it's because they're from the future, but I don't understand how future evolution will turn people gold. Also, Cushing -- with his distinctive concave cheeks -- looks kind of like a chimpanzee.
Celebrate good times, come on!
S01 E20: The Last Sunset
Friendly aliens provide the moon with an atmosphere, and its inhabitants with hope. Looks like they can leave Alpha and live on the lunar surface.
This is by far the best episode so far. I liked "Dragon's Domain" (see above), but this is way better. Part of that, I think, is that it sets itself apart from the other episodes in a way that "DD" didn't.
By episode 19, I'd been growing weary of the episodes that ultimately center on a character on a strange set with weird lights and stuff but very little plot. This one has a real human story. I kept thinking that this was as good as a mediocre episode of Star Trek.
This episode is also the best so far at depicting the characters interacting with each other as people. There's joy and there's frustration. And we see a real connection between Paul and Sandra. It's all really good stuff -- precisely what's been missing from the series. Of course, Dr. Russell is still wooden, but that's old news.
Finally, unlike most episodes, this one provides an adequate explanation for what happened. I was so glad not to end an episode wondering WTF.
Someone used too much detergent.
S01 E21: Space Brain
Out of nowhere, Computer (yeah, it's not "the computer," but simply "Computer," like it's a living thing. I find that annoying in every episode) starts getting signals from out in space. An eagle is dispatched, but it gets covered in some kind of weird goo, crushed and thrown back at the moon. Turns out the moon is on a collision course with some kind of space brain that's supporting an entire galaxy in miniature (that part is never really made clear). It's been trying to communicate with computer to work out a plan to divert the moon.
This is among the more interesting stories so far, and it's reasonably watchable, although the ending is a bit of an anticlimax. Actually, I've noticed that one of the flaws with this series is that they generally don't do endings well. Another flaw which I've noticed is that the cast seems particularly bad at group scenes where they're supposed to ad lib a sentiment without anyone having specific lines. I noticed that in the scene where Koenig returns to Main Mission and everyone's supposed to congratulate him on his nifty flying. It just seems so forced. It reminded me of a scene from "Death's Other Dominion" (episode 5), in which everyone is supposed to acknowledge the sense of what Koenig has proposed. It fell flat there also.
But I digress. In the climactic scene Alpha is flooded with what looks like soap suds. It reminded me of that episode of The Brady Bunch where Bobby tried to wash his clothes -- to comedic effect. Despite the seeming comical aspects, it's still dramatic. On the other hand, I was puzzled by the fact that Koenig wnet off flying an eagle. He wasn't the best candidate for the mission, so it kind of seemed like an attempt to give the character an air of swagger -- to make him more Kirk-like. But Martin Landau just doesn't have it, and trying to give it to him just feels wrong.
Still and all, despite its weaknesses this was a halfway decent episode.
That's quite the poker face
S01 E22: The Troubled Spirit
One of Alpha's botanists is experimenting with ways of communicating with plants. Somehow, this conjures up a spirit that is a combination of him and plants. Oh, yeah, and it's from the future. Or something. It's way convoluted. Actually, it's way stupid. But there is a seed of a good plot in there. There's this whole concept of this wounded spirit from the future causing the events that wounded it. The causality loop concept is compelling when it's done well, and I'm a sucker for it. But combining that story line with the guy trying to communicate with plants via a seance (!) really ruined it.
The episode opens during a guitar recital -- one of the Alphans is performing for his fellow moonmen. I consider that a good development, as they're finally starting to give us a sense of how people pass the time on Alpha (aside from sitting in Main Mission doing whatever work they do there). Come to think of it, "Space Brain" opened with scenes of the Alphans doing jigsaw puzzles, and having some banter about them. One of the biggest problems with this series is the fact that the characters aren't being developed enough. Vignettes that show ordinary life on the moon go a long way toward addressing this problem. One of the reasons the Star Trek spinoffs worked so well was that they gave viewers an extensive views of the crews' leisure time. The original Star Trek series didn't do it nearly as extensively, but they did it to.
Having said that, I should note that they don't do a very good job with this. Tlhe audience seems incredibly bored and detached during the recital. Maybe it's just bad acting, but they really look like they're acting. Especially Dr. Russell. When there's a shot of her face, she has a bizarrely peaceful expression. Like she just downed a bottle of xanax. The other problem here is that, the way they set this up, they built an expectation that the music or the recital would be relevant to the plot. I kept waiting for some revelation that the music was triggering the spirit.
This is one of those episodes I really wanted to like, but couldn't.
Dang! They started dinner without me!
S01 E23: The Testament of Arkadia
The moon approaches a planet that seems earthlike, although its life all died thousands of years ago. A team goes to investigate, and they find that this is the birthplace of humanity -- that some people from left and went to earth when disaster hit this planet. Two crewmembers are convinced that their return to this planet was preordained, have decided to stay. And they won't take no for an order.
We're late in the first season, but it seems that the show may have hit its stride. A bunch of the more recent episodes rise to the level of mediocre Star Trek episodes, and it's been a while since there we've seen any of the headscratching metaphysical gobbledygook that was such a part of the show early on. The storyline is a bit thin, but the idea behind it is compelling enough that it caught my interest.
They're continuing to make their belated effort to give us a feel for the humanity of life on Alpha, showing an martial arts exercise session. And, like last time, they tricked the viewers into believing that the "just a normal day" scene was somehow germane to the plot.
In some ways, this episode has a very different feel. Yes, it moves slowly like the others, but Koenig's voiceover narration seems out of place. They did something similar with Dr. Russel in "Dragon's Domain," and I didn't care for it then, either. Also, at a couple of points there's this background music that's supposed to sound like the voices of a hundred angels revealing the face of God. It's not bad, but it feels off for a show that long ago established its sensibilities.
The endling was not what I expected. It was...hopeful. We see Anna and Luke (the two who had insisted on staying) alone on the plant as the moon drifts off. Maybe, the viewer is intended to think, this will work for them. And humanity is seeding itself through the galaxy.
And, on bass guitar, Leather Tuscadero!
S01 E24: The Last Enemy
Alpha gets caught in the middle of a war between two planets that share an orbit around the same sun. Koenig tries to negotiate a cease-fire, and considers whether to abandon the moon and live on one of the planets. It's a pretty mediocre realization of a plot that's been done before.
There are a few things that annoy about this episode. Koenig's decisions seem a bit out of character. He's more decisive about opening fire on an alien vessel. And there's a definite cheesiness to the interior shots of the alien vessel. It's way too minimalist.
But what I find really interesting about this episode is how much it feels like Star Trek. One of the things that made Trek work is that a lot of the episodes were parables. Because of that, they resonated. That, I think, is a large part of what's been missing from S99. In this episode, we get a bit of a taste of that, since it's a tale of perpetual war.
While not great, this episode ends the season on a reasonable note.
In Summation
Based on Season one, S99 appears to be a cross between Star Trek and Gilligan's Island. The concept is completely implausible, and therefore the hard science is lacking, but it's important not to let that get in the way of enjoying a good story. Problem is, there really isn't much in the way of good stories. There were a whole bunch of stories that were just strange. For example, the whole thing about the moon colliding with a planet and the collision sending the planet into a higher plane of existence ("Collision Course") is just plain bizarre.
But the bigger problem I have with the series is that the characters weren't fully developed. There were some half-hearted efforts to flesh them out, but it really wasn't enough. To make matters worse, the acting was largely wooden. Especially Barbara Bain. I'm not sure if I mentioned that at all above. So it wasn't easy to care about anyone on Moonbase Alpha. Near the end of the season, there seemed to be more effort to humanize the characters, so maybe there's hope for Season 2.
Sometimes it seems as if you have all the time in the world, and you can get to something tomorrow. Or next week or next year. And sometimes you find out that your time is up.
I just found out tonight that David Santos, one of my roommates in grad school, passed away. This didn't happen today or yesterday. Or last week or last year. It happened in 2011, so you can figure out that we haven't stayed close through the years. But David was one of the people that I've been figuring I'll catch up with eventually. Eventually... I guess not.
I first met David when I started grad school in the fall of 1987. We were both entering the PhD program* at the University of Michigan, and were going to be living in the same dorm -- Baits Stanley on the North Campus. He had gone to the University of Chicago as an undergrad, and had a much stronger background than I did. He and I were in the same real analysis class that first semester, and his help and encouragement kept me afloat.
In our second year, David and I were renting bedrooms in a private house near the Central Campus. I don't think we ever had any more classes together (after that first semester real analysis), but he still always made time to offer me helpful hints on my homeworks.
David had a very quick wit, and always saw connections between seemingly unconnected things. And I always enjoyed his company.
After I left grad school, I only saw David a few times. He occasionally visited New York with his then-girlfriend, Margie, and I was always eager to catch up with them. The last time I saw David was at the wedding of two other friends in Chicago. After that, we fell out of touch. I think we had a conversation in the late 1990s, but I don't recall much in the way of details.
It's been a long time since David was a part of my life in any real way, but I still feel a sense of loss. The world was a better place with David than it is without him.
Session: Supernatural Martial Arts, week 3 Movie: The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (1974) Directed by Roy Ward Baker and Chang Cheh As always, there may be spoilers here. And the trailer may be NSFW and/or NSFL
Plot: A European vampirologist travels to China to fight vampires alongside kung fu experts. Hilarity ensues. Background and Reaction: It's still not entirely clear to me that there was a need to combine Hammer horror with Kung Fu into one movie. In fact, it's kind of tempting to dismiss the concept out of hand. On the other hand, it's no more ridiculous than Jesse James Meets Dracula's Daughter or Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy. There were some things to like in this movie. I loved the use of color -- there was a lot of orange/blue contrast that really made for a visually interesting look. Early on I was thinking that it had the comic book look of Creepshow or Eaten Alive. But as it wore on I realized that that wasn't the case.
This was better than the two pure kung fu movies we saw the prior two weeks simply because there was less kung fu. In those movies, the plot is really just a thin device to get us between kung fu fight scenes. It's been explained to me that that's the genre, but I don't like it.
So this had more of a real plot than the other two movies, but I just had trouble getting into the plot. Ratings: Joe: 9.8 Dave: 9.7-9.8 Sean: 3 out of 4 Scott: 9.5 Me: 7.5 Ethan: 8 Bechdel: The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires fails the Bechdel test. Extras: Joe, back from his trip to Israel, gave us all Western Wall commemorative yarmulkes.
On Monday I was at the annual ASNY meeting. At lunch I found myself at a table for ten. The other nine were all practicing Orthodox Jews. That meant that they had requested kosher meals and that they weren't going to eat the desserts that had been put out on the table. I could have eaten all ten desserts without a problem. Also, before the meeting there were all manner of pastries and bagels set out in the morning before the meeting. I could have gorged myself and no one would have noticed.
That is but one example of something that I have only now started to notice -- how often free food* is knocking at my door. And I've been noticing it now because I've been limiting what I eat. Specifically, I've been trying to eat less overall -- and, especially, to eat less in the way of simple carbohydrates.
I'm not sure when I first noticed the phenomenon, but it definitely crystallized in my head when Sharon and I went to see Francis Su lecture at Mo Math. I rote about that here. Since the lecture was about dividing cakes evenly, there was a practicum which involved free cake for everyone.
As Sharon and I were walking to the subway afterwards, she asked about why I didn't have any of the cake. Surely a little bit wouldn't hurt? I explained that it's actually easier for me not to have any than to have a small bit and leave it at that. She then asked if that meant that I would never have cake again. I said that I don't know. I'm not swearing off sweets and treats forever or for any fixed period. I'm deciding now not to have any now. Tomorrow never knows. And that's how I reconcile myself to the deprivation. Allowing for the possibility of eating all the crap I want whenever I decide that I want.
After the conversation, I realized that this chance to have free cake wasn't an aberration. I go to garden clubs, and there's food. I attend a charity event with Stack-Up, and there's food. At work, there's often free food for the taking. Leftovers from catered lunch meetings, snacks that people put out...that kind of stuff. And there are a couple of people who keep candy baskets on their desks, inviting anyone to take.
And, yes, I know that it's a classic example of a first world problem to complain about too much free food. But, damn is it tempting.
Anyway, I have to stop writing this, since I need to get to bed. There's a LIDS meeting, and it's a potluck. Laura always bakes incredible cakes.
*In a lot of cases, such as the ASNY meeting, the food isn't technically free. Its cost is built into the price of attendance at the conference. But for the purposes of this post I am using the word "free" to mean "at no extra cost to me."
I remember, in high school, when a teacher was talking about series and sequences of numbers. She presented a series, such as 3, 6, 9* and asked what the next number is. Of course, she was expecting us to answer 12. I noted that, if you say that the sequence is defined by a polynomial expression, you can justify anything as the next number by picking the right coefficients. 3, 6, 9, 75? There's a third-degree polynomial that fits it. And, by the way, there are infinitely man fourth degree polynomials that fit as well.**
I used to have a friend named Angry Bob. On more than one occasion he called me, annoyed about a sample Mensa test (or somesuch) he saw in a magazine. He didn't score in the genius range, and wanted to plead his case. Specifically, there would be four pictures, and a question of which one doesn't belong. It was easy enough to figure out what the quiz-writers intended, but Angry saw it differently. He pleaded his case. I explained that the quiz was looking for a different answer. He'd plead again, arguing that his choice was just as legitimate***.This went on until I said that, yeah, he's right, he deserves credit. We would go through several questions this way until he had enough questions right to score in the "genius" range.
I was reminded of the above vignettes as we listened to Christopher Danielson at the National Museum of Mathematics (Mo Math). Blair, Sharon and I (along with one of Sharon's friends and her family) went to see Danielson's presentation, "Which One Doesn't Belong?" which was part of the museum's "Family Fridays" program.
The main part of the program consisted of Danielson showing slides with pictures of four objects, and asking for the particpants' thoughts about which object didn't belong. But instead of focusing on what is the one right answer, he focused on the fact that any answer could be right. Consider, for example, the picture above.
The shape in the lower left doesn't belong because it's the only one that's convex.
The shape in the lower right doesn't belong because it's the only one with multiple lines of symmetry.
The shape in the upper left doesn't belong because it's the only shape whose boundary has no straight lines.
The shape in the upper right doesn't belong because it's the only shape whose boundary consists entirely of straight lines.
This wasn't as advanced a topic as Francis Su's cake-cutting talk (which I write about here). And to a degree we were out of place; Sharon and her friend were older than most of the kids there. But it was interesting nonetheless. Danielson was trying to introduce the youngsters to flexible mathematical thinking. And it was vindication for that former high schooler in me who bristled at an inflexible teacher. I only hope that Angry Bob, wherever he is, would feel vindicated as well.
*I don't remember what the actual numbers were, so I'll use these for the purposes of the narrative. **Yeah, I was a smart-ass in high school. ***In all fairness, he was right.
Congratulations to the Houston Astros on winning the World Series.* The Astros have now won almost half as many series as is their fair share.
One of the statistics that I track and update every year is what I call, for lack of a better name, World Series Wins per Share Ratio. The intent is to compare the number of times a franchise has won the World Series with the number of times it would have been expected to win if World Series victories were simply distributed at random among the franchises. To calculate this, you simply divide A by B where:
A is equal to the number of times a franchise has won the World Series;
B is the sum, for all years that the franchise existed (and that there was a World Series), 1/N (where N is the number of franchises in the year.
If a team's ratio is 1, that means they have won exactly their share of World Series. If its ratio is 2, that means they have won twice as many World Series as their share. Etc.
I should note that I am only counting the modern World Series, which began in 1903. Also, for the purposes of calculating B, I do not include Federal League teams in N, since the FL didn't participate.
The spreadsheet for 2017 is here. The table on the right shows the results as of 2017.
*Though, seriously, whoever decided to move them to the American League is demented. So is whoever changed their name to Astros. Colt .45's was a way cooler name.
There is a certain enthusiasm in liberty, that makes human nature rise above itself, in acts of bravery and heroism.
-- Alexander Hamilton
The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of war.
-- Douglas MacArthur
Blair and I spent this morning at the Jamaica Estates gatehouse at Midland Parkway and Hillside Avenue, attending a modest Veteran's Day service. While the gatehouse looks like nothing more than a decoration marking the entrance to the neighborhood, it's actually a memorial to the ten JE residents who lost their lives fighting for the US in World War II.* The highlight of the ceremony was when students at the Immaculate Conception Catholic Academy read brief bios of the ten soldiers. Their bios were the culmination of an extra-curricular project to research the lost ten. For the record, their names were:
John Adikes, Jr.
Sigmund Gillmore
Kenneth S. Kinnes
John B. Lovely
Paul W. Olson
Norman H. Puff
Peter P. Renzo
Joseph A. Scheibel
Donald J. Schneider
Words can't do justice to the sacrifices these kids and their families made.
But it's important to remember -- and this was Veteran's Day (as opposed to Memorial Day) afterall -- the Veterans among us. Many are wounded, and the wounds aren't always visible. But, wounded or not, these are people who willingly signed up to put their lives on the line to defend our freedom. Again, words can't do justice, but it's important to remember what they did for all of us.
*The gatehouse was originally a gatehouse, when JE was a gated community. But at some point it was turned into the memorial it is today. I don't know when that happened, but I can say that it was decades ago; I grew up in the neighborhood, and can tell you that it was a memorial when I was a kid. I remember asking my father why there was a memorial for JE dead from World War II but not one for World War I. He explained that there was no Jamaica Estates until after World War I. Left unanswered was why there was no memorial for the Korean or Viet Nam wars.
