a d'var torah for the montana road

It was on roadtrip 2001. We were in Montana, staying with friends. Well, Blair's friends, anyway. I had just met them on this visit.

We sat down to a meal. Elk that their daughter had hunted. But before we started eating, Grace. Not a big deal. I can sit silently while someone else says a prayer. But they asked me to say Grace.

Ah, what? I was caught by surprise. In retrospect, I should have seen it coming. This was a Christian Fundamentalist family running a ranch in rural Montana. Saying Grace before the meal made sense. And asking me to lead Grace was a token of respect and friendship. It was an honor. But one that I felt mildly uncomfortable with. I'm a Jew from New York, so the main Grace is said after eating. And the short before-meal prayer is complicated by a ritual of handwashing. Further, I'm not exactly a model of religiosity; Blair and I joke that we are nonpracticing Orthodox Jews. But the emphasis is on "nonpracticing."

Still, I didn't want to insult our hosts. Thinking fast, I came up with a loose translation of the first paragraph of the Hebrew Grace After Meals. The following is a translation from the Chabad website. This isn't exactly what I said, but I was close.

Blessed are You, L-rd our G‑d, King of the universe, Who, in His goodness, provides sustenance for the entire world with grace, with kindness, and with mercy. He gives food to all flesh, for His kindness is everlasting. Through His great goodness to us continuously we do not lack [food], and may we never lack food, for the sake of His great Name. For He, benevolent G‑d, provides nourishment and sustenance for all, does good to all, and prepares food for all His creatures whom He has created, as it is said: You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing. Blessed are You, L-rd, Who provides food for all. 

It went over great! I, the perpetual ham, was in my element. But the best was yet to come. I managed to get a D'var Torah out of this. Pointing out that -- while I said this before the meal -- it was really meant to be said after the meal. I tied that up with a quote from the third paragraph:

When you have eaten and are satiated, you shall bless the L-rd your G‑d for the good land which He has given you.

In other words, give thanks after the meal.

And don't get me started on how I recited T'filat Ha'derech when Blair and I were leaving and they wanted me to lead a prayer for our safe travels...