with gratitude to our veterans

There is a certain enthusiasm in liberty, that makes human nature rise above itself, in acts of bravery and heroism.

-- Alexander Hamilton 

The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of war.

-- Douglas MacArthur

Blair and I spent this morning at the Jamaica Estates gatehouse at Midland Parkway and Hillside Avenue, attending a modest Veteran's Day service. While the gatehouse looks like nothing more than a decoration marking the entrance to the neighborhood, it's actually a memorial to the ten JE residents who lost their lives fighting for the US in World War II.*

The highlight of the ceremony was when students at the Immaculate Conception Catholic Academy read brief bios of the ten soldiers. Their bios were the culmination of an extra-curricular project to research the lost ten. For the record, their names were:

• John Adikes, Jr.
• Sigmund Gillmore
• Kenneth S. Kinnes
• John B. Lovely
• Paul W. Olson
• Norman H. Puff
• Peter P. Renzo
• Joseph A. Scheibel
• Donald J. Schneider

Words can't do justice to the sacrifices these kids and their families made.

But it's important to remember -- and this was Veteran's Day (as opposed to Memorial Day) afterall -- the Veterans among us. Many are wounded, and the wounds aren't always visible. But, wounded or not, these are people who willingly signed up to put their lives on the line to defend our freedom. Again, words can't do justice, but it's important to remember what they did for all of us.

*The gatehouse was originally a gatehouse, when JE was a gated community. But at some point it was turned into the memorial it is today. I don't know when that happened, but I can say that it was decades ago; I grew up in the neighborhood, and can tell you that it was a memorial when I was a kid. I remember asking my father why there was a memorial for JE dead from World War II but not one for World War I. He explained that there was no Jamaica Estates until after World War I. Left unanswered was why there was no memorial for the Korean or Viet Nam wars.

mantis fists and tiger claws of shaolin (cinema history class)

Session: Supernatural Martial Arts, week 2
Movie: Mantis Fists and Tiger Claws of Shaolin (1977)
Directed by Cheung Sum and Simon Hsu
As always, there may be spoilers here. And the trailer may be NSFW and/or NSFL

Plot:
A mysterious stranger shows up in town to find his long-lost sister. While there, he protects the locals and gets accused of murder. Hilarity ensues.

Background and Reaction:
What's I found most striking about this movie is how much it seems like a spaghetti western. Except for the part where the love interest turns into a praying mantis. The weapons and fighting style are different, but many details of the storytelling are similar. There's the scene where the hero is tortured. There are scenes where the hero is in a business establishment (which serves as the analog for the old west saloon), outnumbered, and makes quick work of defeating his adversaries. And the basic plot seems like it should be a Spaghetti Western.

I enjoyed this more than last week's movie, largely because I could better appreciate the plot.* As I noted above, this played very much like a spaghetti western. But, that, said, it kind of tried to bite off too much. It was part martial arts showcase, part revenge story, part giant monster movie. And to some degree it just kind of muddied everything. 

Of course, I did enjoy the Three Stooges-like physical humor and the preying mantis porn at the beginning.

Ratings:
Dave: 9.2-9.3
Sean: 2 out of 4
Scott: 7
Me: 6
Ethan: 7

Bechdel:
Mantis Fists and Tiger Claws of Shaolin fails the Bechdel test.

Tangentially-Related Anecdote:
There was this time that...oh, to hell with this. I have never had to go find my long lost sister in a brothel, and I have never dated anyone who could turn into a praying mantis. At least, not as far as I know. 

*I have been told in no uncertain terms that kunf=g fu movies aren't supposed to have plot -- that they are simply excuses for displays of martial arts prowess. I believe the analogy that was used involved porn movies and sex.

splitting cakes with francis su

The classical question "How can we cut a cake fairly?" has been around since antiquity, but what happens when mathematicians and economists focus on the situation? Is there always a way to divide things fairly? Join Harvey Mudd Professor of Mathematics Francis Su as he shares envy-free (and tasty!) solutions to this very human problem.

That was the message on the poster, and it gave as good an introduction to Professor Su's talk as you're going to find. It sounds frivolous, but anyone who has been to a children's birthday party knows that splitting a cake fairly -- or at least in a way that is perceived as fair by a roomful of children -- is not an easy task. "He got a bigger piece!" "She got the flower!" "I didn't get enough icing!" You get the idea...

It's an interesting subject at the intersection of economics and mathematics. So when Sharon asked me to go with her to Mo Math (technically, the National Museum of Mathematics) for a presentation on the topic -- well, great!

Su started with the well known "You cut, I choose" method of splitting a cake (actually, pretty much anything) between two people. One of the people splits the object in two, and the other chooses which piece she wants. From there, he went on to the situation with three people, and then higher numbers. Of course, along the way he had to define fairness. In order to adress the topic with mathematical rigor, it's necessary to have precision in one's definitions. He specified several definitions of a "fair" division:

• Envy free: Each person believes he got the biggest piece
• Proportional: Each person believes he got 1/N (where N is the number of people)*
• Equitable: Each person thinks he got exactly the same percentage of the total as each other person thinks he got.
• Efficient: A division that is not dominated by another. For these purposes, a division is said to dominate another if it is at least as good for each player.**

Su hit that sweet spot, balancing mathematical rigor (or, at least the hint of it) and accessibility for the educated layman. The children in the audience seemed to stay interested, as did the adults, many of whom, had mathematical backgrounds.  For the simpler splits, he explained the methodology in detail. So he continued from the simple "You cut, I choose." For more than two people, he described the "Dubins-Spanier Moving Knife Procedure." But at some point he stopped trying to describe methods in detail, and just explained that solutions exist, but may involve very large numbers of steps.***

It was also interesting getting a flavor of the thinking that leads to the solutions. Su explained and demonstrated Sperner's Lemma, which is at the intersection of topology and combinatorics. And at another point he talked about how he got interested in the cake-splitting problem -- trying to figure out how much rent each person should pay in a shared house where rooms differ in desirability.

Now, if only I weren't dieting -- there was free cake. Su used it to demonstrate the Dubins-Spanier moving knife procedure.

*I describe this by saying that each person thinks he got his fair share.
**We weren't precise to the point of indicating whether the exact definition of "dominate" is written so that all divisions dominate themselves or none do.
***This year, Aziz and McKenzie proved the existence of a method for an envy-free division for n people, but it can take up to n^(n^(n^(n^(n^n)))) steps.

for gits and shiggles

Years ago, when tolls were typically paid in cash, I used to occasionally pay twice the toll, and tell the tolltaker that I was paying for the next car as well. I'd explain that the next driver was following me, so...well, you get the picture. I enjoyed imagining the confused reaction of the person behind me. Of course, I never got to interact with the person behind me, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

I also used to leave notes in the Bibles in hotel rooms.

Tony, if you're reading this, then the plan fell apart and I'm dead. Tell Victiria I love her. And take care of Jake for me.

But there are other things I'd like to do that I haven't. Not yet, anyway.

I'd love to take a cab ride, and then, while paying my fare, give the driver half a note. It'll be clear from the half I give him that there are instructions involving murder. I'll tell him that "The Tiger will give you the other half." OK, it's fun to think about, but I won't do it for real. Too much potential fr trouble.

I want to make lost pet style posters to hang up all over the neighborhood. But instead of a pet, they will indicate that I lost an egg roll. Even offer a reward.

master of the flying guillotine (cinema history class)

Session: Supernatural Martial Arts, week 1
Movie: Master of the Flying Guillotine (1976)
Directed by Jimmy Wang Yu
As always, there may be spoilers here. And the trailer may be NSFW and/or NSFL

Plot:
A blind master seeks to avenge his two students who were killed by the one-armed swordsman. And he'll have his revenge even if must kill every one-armed person around. Hilarity ensues.

Background and Reaction:
I should note that this was the first Kung Fu movie that I watched from start to finish (assuming you're willing to overlook Rumble in the Bronx and other such Jackie Chan fare. What I found most interesting about it related to the storytelling.

The master is established as the hero. Even though we learn that his cause isn't just, he remains the hero. In that sense it's a lot like spaghetti westerns. But in a spaghetti western the hero would have won in the climactic fight. He would be injured in the battle. It may even look like he's going to lose. But then he'd rally his strength and win -- killing his adversary. So in the climactic battle, I kept expecting the blind master to win. No matter that his flying guillotine gets broken, and that he repeatedly gets hit by flying hatchets. Somehow he'd survive and vanquish the one-armed swordfighter. So I was shocked that he didn't.

But beyond that interesting bit of story, I found the whole thing dull. More than a third (by my reckoning) of the movie was taken up by a big martial arts tournament. That stuff didn't really advance the plot or anything. If you enjoy watching martial arts routines for their own sake, then this is for you. I don;t, so it isn't for me.

Keith and Sean explained that that's part of the genre. Well, if that's true, then it may not be the genre for me.

Ratings:
Dave: 8.8 to 9
Sean: 4 out of 4
Me: 5
Ethan: 5

Bechdel:
Master of the Flying Guillotine fails the Bechdel test.

Tangentially-Related Anecdote:
Sharon's cat is blind and (at least partially) deaf. Before he lost those senses, he was a great hunter. Now that he's lost them, we can still see the string spirit in him. Watching him walk around, you might not realize he's blind -- except for when he walks into walls, which kind of gives it away. We think he relies on echolocation and his familiarity with the house. The blind master uses those same skills to get around and to target the flying guillotine.